Editorial: Violation of consent does not concern only women

 It is hard to explain to young men what it feels like, as a young woman, to be afraid of the groups of men you encounter on the streets at night. Men, of course, may be afraid of being robbed or assaulted, but the fear of sexual assault seems to loom larger in the imaginations of young women than young men. That said, once within the confines of our cloistered campus, the playing fields have leveled a little. Physical realities still make women the more likely victims of violent sexual assault, but when it comes to the gray areas of date rape, sexual harassment and sexual pressure, men are just as easily victimized as women. Men can feel as used, objectified and violated as women do when a potential sexual partner is aggressive or insensitive. Furthermore, these men face a dilemma women don't face in these situations. While men can physically intimidate women, women often fail to realize that it may actually be harder for men to extricate themselves from unwanted sexual encounters given the cultural supposition that a man will welcome any and all advances from a reasonably desirable woman.

A man who wants an abundance of sentiment to coincide with sexual encounters may face ridicule, not only from his peers but also from the woman in question. While many students may appreciate the sexual license a metropolitan university setting offers, no one likes to wake up in the morning feeling violated. Most decent young men have been taught to be sensitive to the emotional needs and sensitivities of women, but it may be that women, though we've learned to be assertive, empowered and self-actualized, haven't learned to be sensitive to the variegated desires (or lack thereof) of men.

All that said, there is another element to this discussion that is often ignored: same-sex sexual assault. When discussing consent, the conversation is often incredibly heteronormative, perpetuating stereotypes that straight women are wilting flowers who need protection and men (straight and gay) are hedonistic pleasure fiends who want sex all the time and at any cost. Stereotypes like this are damaging for all parties involved. Rates of abuse among the LGBTQ community are believed to occur at rates similar to those in the heterosexual community. Both women and men can be victims or perpetrators of abuse, no matter their sexual orientation.

For our own sake and the sake of our partners, we should be scrupulous in obtaining consent from our sexual partners. Communication of boundaries must be established early on, and we must understand that these boundaries differ greatly for different people. In doing so, men and women can empower each other.